Well good evening :) Or not-so-good evening in my case. But we will get to all the interworkings of my life in a little. Today I went back to work, and will be going again tomorrow. It was long, boring, frustrating, and there were times when I almost broke down in tears. Very little of these feelings were actually caused by the work itself. Which brings me to the dilemma of the day:
He doesn't know about us. He's not sure he can commit to me, or treat me the way I deserve to be treated, or that we went about this the right way. He thinks we're moving too fast. And yeahh, I know we are. I mean, we flirted for a week and then I started liking him, and he started liking me, and he asked me out immediately. Maybe we skipped the part where you're supposed to like someone for a while before actually "dating" them? I don't know. And frankly, I don't care. I never believed there was a certain way to have a relationship. That if you didn't follow a specific path, it would result in failure. Relationships between two people are meant to have hardships, and they're meant to be worked through. But all of his talk about "needing time to contemplate" and not being able to give me what I deserve is so upsetting. Yes, I know things happened quickly. But I would do the same thing again in a heartbeat. Why? No idea. Probably because I don't see anything wrong here. Except he does. And it's scary. I don't want him to think that he needs to change to be with me. I wouldn't want him to change. The reason I like him so much is because he DOESN'T treat me like all the other guys do. And I think I just started to appreciate being treated like that. Like I'm a close friend when everyone else is around, but also like I'm important to him when it's just the two of us. I like the two sides of the spectrum. And I don't know, maybe he doesn't think he can give this relationship his all. And if that is the case, I don't want to guilt him into doing something that he doesn't want to fully commit to. But if he does, I don't think that how quickly we started this should be an obstacle. We can always adjust the pace, but if he doesn't want it, then I'm gonna have to accept that, be brave, and move on. Which I seem to have been doing quite a lot lately.
Found a little interesting blast from the past while reading through my blog. Read it here.
superstar of the day:
Miss Parlett: Je te laaavee<3 Tu es ma meilleur amie et je t'aime.
songs of the day:
"Hold My Hand" by Akon
"Tu Es Beau" de Yelle
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