So today was a shit day. Pretty much, I got really exhausted from all my activities yesterday, and I didn't go to bed early enough I guess, because when 6:45 rolled around, I literally could not get out of bed. I crawled into the shower, and I think I fell asleep in there for like 40 minutes. Finally got out, got dressed, ate, and left for work. The whole car ride, I was trying to get some more rest, which was sooo not happening, so I decided it would be okaay for me to take one of my NoSnooze pills to help me stay awake. Bad idea. I didn't realize that the little pancake-sausage corndog thing I had for breakfast wasn't enough, so I was taking one of these pills on an empty stomach. I went through the rest of the day in a haze, not being able to concentrate on anything. My eyes were all out of focus, and I kept getting dizzy & lightheaded. So, that was work.
Then, I get in the car with my boss to go home, and everything's normal enough. Until I realize that I have less than a month until school starts, and I'm nowhere near done with my summer homework. I start freaking out, and stressing even more, which does not improve my current state of health. So by this point, I'm stressed over school, scared that I'm dying or something because of this pill, and overall depressed because of other shitty situations that unfolded yesterday (more on that later). I finally get home to talk to someone, but I feel like crap because no one wants to talk to me, and everyone's just running around ignoring me. I decide that it's a good time to start some homework. When I get to my computer, my little brother has broken it. It takes me 45 minutes to get the stupid thing to work again, and by that time, I had already called Chelsea to talk about all the terrible things that happened to me today, and to help me come to a conclusion about the things that happened yesterday. Now I'm off the phone, and hopefully about to start some homework, but...ugh. Today was not good.
But let's rewind, shall we?
It all started last week. Andrew started texting me, being all flirty & cute & whatever, and I fell for it. I flirted back. And while he was gone at Lake Whatever, he was all I could think about. So of course, I was thrilled when he finally texted me yesterday. And we picked up right where we left off: flirting like there was no tomorrow. We had planned a day to see each other, Wednesday, and we were both really excited. But the whole time, I was confused. I had talked to Cody earlier in the week, and he told me that I needed to figure out what Andrew wanted from me. And to make a decision about what I wanted from him, too. So I decided to bring it up. After hours of texting, I found out that Andrew didn't want anything serious, but that he still wanted me. Only, he wanted me as a hook-up. And I really don't know how I feel about that. I mean, on one hand I really miss him and I really like him still, so I want to be with him. But on the other hand, I want something real. Something that will make a difference and maybe create a step in the right direction. And a hook-up isn't going anywhere. Which is a step in the opposite direction. So I'm torn here; there's a guy that I'll probably do anything for, who pretty much doesn't want anything to do with me.
Again I say: sucks, doesn't it?
superstar of the day:
Chelsea Mariko; I honestly don't know what I would do without you.
song of the day:
"Tu Es Beau" by Yelle
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