Best friends forever;

I really just need someone to vent to. But for some reason I don't feel like I can trust my friends. Sure, they're there for me when I really need them; then they seem to turn on me, threatening me with my own mistakes. I want to yell, "YOU BITCH, I TOLD YOU THAT IN CONFIDENCE!" but I know it wouldn't make any difference. They'd still go around doing the same things, talking about the same shit, telling the same people. Saying, "Ohh I won't judge you, you can tell me anything." Fuck that. In the back of your mind there's always that judgment. Whether you want to admit it or not. Its there. And you can't do anything about it.
And when I finally think there's someone I can relate to, someone who I think will actually accept me because they've been through it too, they turn around & do the same shit everyone else is doing. Why? Who knows. Probably just to get a laugh out of the crowd, but it still stings. All the name-calling hurts whether you're joking or not. Bringing up past mistakes still hurt. They're mistakes, we know, but at the time we just needed clarity. Not your condescending looks & your snide remarks afterward. We need someone to sit & listen to us in our time of desperate despair. When we have no one else to turn to, we definitely expect our best friends to be there for us. To defend us against those people who decide to say these things. It's awful to think that someone would want to say things just to hurt you. To bring you down even further. To make themselves feel good, even just for that one moment.
But most of all, it really sucks when your best friend IS the person trying to break you down.