Hmm, thoughts of the day? Tired. All the time. Probably from staying up late, but I really don't think that's changing anytime soon. Donovan is incredible. And we can talk about anything & everything. Really, I don't know why I ever let him go before. But whatever, there's nothing I can do about it now except learn from my mistakes & never let it happen again.
Miss Parlett: hahahhaa you're ridiculous. But thank you for dedicating your blog to me today :) I was laughing out loud the entire time. And yes, D was super cute for what he did for me. Us and our strange phone calls that just digress from the topic soo easily :) love youuuu<3
So, school in a week and a day. Probably should be more motivated to do homework than I actually am, but I can deal with that Monday night. I know I'll hate myself for procrastinating, but I cannot bear to do it right now. I'm almost done anyway, I just have to make myself do the rest of Luke's Parables and the AP Calculus AB homework, which I heard wasn't hard at all.
Anyway, that's all the boring, non-important, surface stuff that's happening. Let's get into the emotional stuff...
- Me & my mommy are getting closer :) I love it. I don't know what happened, but we're like best friends now, which is absolutely incredible. We laugh at the same things, and she tells me more stuff about her life, which makes me want to tell her more stuff about mine. It's a win-win situation.
- I realized when I was dating Andrew that I have this pessimistic feeling that whenever something is going right, something bad is bound to happen. And the universe is just like that. I know that good things can't happen all the time, but I think that me thinking that makes these bad things happen faster. That, combined with my character flaw of not knowing what I want makes my life very dramatic. But now, I think that everything's going as right as it possibly can and I DON'T have that feeling that something bad is going to happen. AND I know exactly what I want. Maybe that's the key...
- Homework is stressing me out like no other. I keep getting the feeling that I'm not good enough because I'm waiting so long to finish it. I keep thinking that I'm gonna fail all my AP classes cause I'm trying to find an easy way out. And I hate the feeling of failure more than the feeling of getting my heart broken (which I'm also afraid of...).
- So, the emotional day yesterday. Well, it started off normal-ish. The boys were going to Riley's house and my mom was taking them. I figured she would be back so we could go do something together, so I asked her as she was leaving just to make sure. But she wasn't planning on coming back. She was dropping the boys off & going out somewhere. At this point, I started to feel alone. I had been left home for the whole day without anything to do or anywhere to go. I felt like I was unloved (probably the PMS kicking in...) and when my aunt called a little later, she only made it worse. Then my mom told me that she would come back and get me, and we could go shopping. But I was still really depressed, even though I had agreed to go. Perhaps it was the fatigue & hunger, but I was NOT in a shopping mood. That's not normal. Everything was fine after I had eaten & taken a break from driving. Fine until later that night when I was texting Donovan, and he told me a little piece of information I didn't know. Apparently, my Granny was really sick. Cancer-sick. And I had no idea. I immediately broke down for hours. I felt terrible not knowing sooner, and that all of this was happening to my incredible grandmother. After a little while I got better, but it's still one of the most unbelievable things ever. You never know who it's gonna hit, so spend every moment possible with the ones you love while you can.
superstars of the weekend:
Mommy
Michael Donovan
Chelsea Marikoooo<3
i can't believe about your grandma :(
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